Romanticising my way through life

 

There are two ways this can end: inevitable disappointment or an odd manifested life. So far it’s been less of the latter. 

As a kid, I’d create these elaborate stories in my head. What would life be like if I had siblings? What would we all get up to? What would our fights look like? Would my favourite cousin still be close with me or the other Coppin Campbell?

As an only child, I spent most of my days imagining life, present, past and future. But this skill of mine didn’t stop in my childhood…it continued and grew wings.

As I got older I’d create these scenes, much like out of a movie, of the simplest things. Going to the supermarket, going out with friends, going to university…the list goes on. And in most of the scenes things went my way. Unless I had just watched an episode of Bad Girls Club or  Love and Hip Hop, and was feeling the drama and wanted a fight *in my head*. But for the most part, I drove into the sunset happy as Larry.

The unfortunate thing about creating these mini-epic scenes is that they’re often followed by disappointment. 

Your friend might not respond to your good news how you planned she would in your head. Your boss might not think your idea is as good as he thought it was in your daydream. And most of all, that guy might not be THE one. 

True story: I’ve fallen in love with someone because of the image I created in my head about who he was. Turns out he definitely was the opposite, but that’s a story for another post.

On the other hand, some of my mini movies and random daydreams have manifested into my actual REAL life. 

While some sing in the shower, I play out “what if’s'” and “what could be’s.” Like what if I got signed to an agency? Or imagine if I shot a fashion editorial for a magazine. Things that I probably thought couldn’t happen, or wouldn’t happen. While the road to me getting signed wasn’t exactly what I planned it out to be in my head, it happened.

But is it unhealthy? I think most people would say yes. In some way, I create this expectation of life is like a perfect, cinematic dream, when the reality is, it isn’t all the time. And if I want it to be, maybe I should romanticise my way into writing scripts, because this life that I, Lauren Nicole Coppin Campbell lives, isn’t that.

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