I almost feel like Carrie Bradshaw as I write yet another blog post about my dating life. However, the sheer lack of dating might suggest otherwise.
Over a Sunday roast, the vast topic of dating came up once again. A topic that isn’t so vast for a girl that hasn’t been on a date since 2017. But after dissecting the horrors of the Fyre Festival Documentary and my inability to finish ‘You‘. I couldn’t get away from talking about how dateless my life really is.
Which led to this: “I can’t imagine what it must be like for you trying to date especially when you’re all over the internet and the perception that brings.”
It was at that moment, my inner voice (negative nancy) bellowed: “sis, maybe your Instagram feed is f**king up your chances of finding a match.”
While the idea wasn’t new to me – I’ve had the internal dialogue every time I go to redownload Bumble or Hinge and wonder if I should or shouldn’t connect my Instagram profile. The inner voice had jumped out of my skin and delivered itself through my mother and cousin. Leaving me to wonder, what does my Instagram say as a first impression?
Now at this point, you may be typing LaurenNicoleFK into your search bar to refresh your memory – something I did on Sunday. And while there aren’t any videos of me twerking in a jacuzzi in Miami or falling out of a taxi, drunk from a night out (two particular and interesting images), I often wonder whether my feed has ended my chances of something serious before I even got to be annoying and needy.
They say one photo is worth a thousand words, well what do 485 pictures say? Do I look conceited? Narcissistic? The wrong kind of bougie? Unfriendly or maybe even unapproachable? And while my clothes might be on, perhaps my “hungry eyes” as quoted by my cousin, say something other than great girlfriend material?
So, I did the natural thing a millennial does, asked my Instagram followers: what is the first thing you think of when you see a picture of me on your timeline, and what do you think it says about me as an individual?
While most of my followers are women who won’t be taking me on a date, their responses told me a lot. But the three that stuck out to me:
“Fancy and expensive gal.”
“Defo boss babe, no time for a man.”
“Classy, sophisticated boss who’s got her shit together. Maybe boys could be intimidated”.
The intimidation comment is whole other topic, for another blog post. But I do wonder whether my Instagram presents an image that may scare someone from pursuing something with me. Whether it’s the number of followers I have, which has been commented on by Hinge match (he got unmatched shortly after that conversation), or the fact that my choice in clothes can make someone feel like they have to dress a little better when taking me out, as told by another Hinge match.
There must be a subconscious reason I squirm every time a guy asks for my Instagram. Although it should be noted, I squirm every time a relative asks me about work and who I’m currently working with/for.
Nevertheless, I will not stop serving FASHUNNN for the people. So, I guess I’ll leave my Instagram disconnected from my dating profile. And if he asks for it…well…I’ll just have to figure that one out when the time comes. So, here’s my question to you, do you think my online persona is scaring men off?