Is my Instagram feed scaring off my date?
Over a Sunday roast – how quintessentially British – the vast topic of dating came up once again. A topic that isn’t so vast for a girl that hasn’t been on a date since 300 BC. But after dissecting the horrors of the Fyre Festival Documentary and my inability to finish ‘You‘. I couldn’t get away from talking about how dateless my life really is.
Which led to this: “I can’t imagine what it must be like for you trying to date especially when you’re all over the internet and the perception that brings.”
It was at that moment, my inner voice bellowed: “sis, maybe your Instagram feed is f**king up your chances of finding a match.”
While the idea wasn’t foreign to me – I have a similar conversation every time I go to redownload Hinge and the alert to connect my Instagram profile pops up. Do I do it, or not? Instead this time, the inner voice was no longer confined to my mind. It has grown legs and found itself residing in my mother and cousin’s mouthes. Leaving me to wonder, what does my Instagram say as a first impression?
Now at this point, you may be typing LaurenNicoleFK into your search bar to refresh your memory. Something I did that very moment as if I had never looked at my profile before and was seeing it for the very first time. Despite its lack of twerking videos or falling out of any drunk and disorderly – two very particular and interesting images. The question of whether my feed had ended a chance of something serious or even a first date popped up again.
They say one photo is worth a thousand words, well what do 664 pictures say? Do I look conceited? Narcissistic? The wrong kind of bougie? Unfriendly or maybe even unapproachable? And while my clothes might be on, perhaps my “hungry eyes” as quoted by my cousin, say something other than great girlfriend material? *bold animated quotes*
So, I did the natural thing a millennial does, asked my Instagram followers: what is the first thing you think of when you see a picture of me on your timeline, and what do you think it says about me as an individual?
While most of my followers are women who won’t be taking me on a date, their responses told me a lot. But the three that stuck out to me:
“Fancy and expensive gal.”
“Defo boss babe, no time for a man.”
“Classy, sophisticated boss who’s got her shit together. Maybe boys could be intimidated”.
The intimidation comment is a whole other topic, for another time. Or maybe it isn’t because in many ways it all interlinks. But I do wonder whether my Instagram presents an image that may scare someone from pursuing something with me. Whether it’s the number of followers I have, which was commented on by a Hinge match, or the fact that my choice in clothes can make someone “feel like they have to dress a little better” when taking me out, as told by another Hinge match.
There must be a subconscious reason I squirm every time a guy asks for my Instagram. Although it should be noted, I squirm every time a relative asks me about work and who I’m currently working with/for.
Nevertheless, I will not stop serving and creating for the people, aka me, myself and I. So, I guess I’ll leave my Instagram disconnected from my dating profile. And if he asks for it…well…I’ll just have to figure that one out when the time comes.
Opening image: @laurennicolefk